The fact that we are now forced to watch United on ‘I Follow’or not at all has produced a whole raft of new admirers of our famed commentary. Not only are they radio starsbut we now have pictures to check against their sometimes eccentric commentary. We now know which side of the ground they sit on and we can surmise that they sometimes identify our players by the colour of their boots. Not always easy when many are the same colour and a long way away. Oh for the days of Adidas Mexico and black and white television.
Anyroad up, it appears that I missed a few. Some I include with a rough translation, others will, no doubt, speak for themselves. It was pointed out to me that “summoned to the Headmaster’s study”, might only involve a telling off rather than a booking. Either way, a nightmarish prospect in Jonno’s eyes.
Gets it away. Not too far though and back it comes = description of the Alamo
Returned with interest = with aggressive intent.
Posthumous appeal for a free kick = apparently damaged after a strong challenge. May involve acting.
Bowled out in an instant = quick thinking Goalie
Couldn’t quite get it under his spell = poor first touch
Several post codesoffside = brainless forward play
We are now in the fourth minute of three added minutes
Eschews=abstinence makes the heart grow fonder
He only pushed him with two hands because he didn’t have three = playground bully.
He’ll need a motorbike to catch that one = horribly overhit and misplaced pass.
Went down in instalments = Slow dive,following loss of the ball usually
Ran into a crowd scene = well marked
Like picking apricots in a French Orchard = class player helping himself and making dominating the opposition look easy. Wes does this all day long.
That had goal written all over it...but, unfortunately, not in indelible ink = should have scored
Appeared as if by magic like the shopkeeper in Mr Benn = Stealthy play worthy of John White or Martin Peters. An impressively literary reference based on an eighties TVprogramme,allegedly for children. It appealed to adults in the same way that Magic Roundabout did and contained the same levels of wisdom. If Jonno’s dry professionalism invites comparison with Mr Benn, is Doug Shulman Marvin the Robot? Sometimes his pessimism and grim predictions are worthy of the Habbin North.
Thud and Blunder = a Steve Evans team
Or a minimum thereof = a bit
You can fire up Coconuts =we won
To be perfectly honest, Cambridge United were lucky to get nil today = rhetorical device
Covidian Age = TBH, I wish I’d thought of that
In a crowd scene = being tackled and roughed up by several opponents at once=see Steve Evans
Run into traffic = eadless chicken impersonation
No doubt I will have missed a few but there are still a few more matches to complete the set