My Favourite Jonnoisms

My Favourite Jonnoisms I first met Mark Johnson and his girlfriend at what was then called Field Mill towards the end of the nineties. As a long term resident of Nottingham I saw a lot of Cambridge games there, most of which were hard fought and most of which we lost, including that one. I had my oldest son with me on that occasion and he was very impressed with Mark’s book which described all of the league grounds in England. Paul was less impressed with the away end at Mansfield, although it was a bit of a novelty watch ing the game standing in the Gents. No doubt the ground would have been described as basic in Mark’s book. Indeed it was. The weather there is always wintry at best but Away games have an appeal of their own.

Had I been able to see into the future, I would have known that the redoubtable Mr Johnson would become the voice of what Covid has made the I Follow season. Arguments rage about whether United do better on television than in front of a 10 crowd…though standing on the Habbin is my favoured option…but I have become used to a few commentary words and phrases which have been used more than once.

Here is a bit of a list. Where possible I have provided a translation.

Summoned to the Headmaster’s study= Booked
Bowls it out in an instant
Capricious wind=Difficult playing conditions
They can see blood in the water= Going for a win
Tranche of signings=A lot
Smuggled it out=Cleared
Into the mix=Into the box
Late of this Parish=former player
Momentarily=This doesn’t mean in a moment.
Betwixt and Between
So to do
Sees him off=kicks him
In a different Postcode=Not close
Perfunctory Culturedly=A new verb Real Estate=Space
Pencils out= Bookings time
Emphaticness=New noun
Eschews
Pick the lock=Break down the defence
Doing his pieces=Getting cross
Minimum thereof.

We are all grateful for entertaining commentary when we can’t go to games.

Anyone who thinks that it’s easy has never tried it. I take my hat off to you chaps!

Andrew

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